One of the most frequent things I am asked daily is, “Why is not he calling me back, he will not talk to me at all”?
One thing that all women need to understand and accept are the differences women and men have. First of all, women are gossip queens. It’s what we do. If we’re sad, happy, in love, excited, angry, whatever it might be, we talk about it. We call all our girlfriends and tell them all that is happening.
The mistake that 85% of women make, is believing that men do the same. Wrong! Men don’t gossip nor do they prefer to share their personal struggles with their spouses, let alone their friends.
I am going to share with you, how to get through if your guy shuts down to you. The catch? You have to follow it religiously step by step. You can’t make your own rules or just use it when you want to.
Everyday I’m faced to tell my customers what’s the hardest for them. Give your man the space he is requesting. It does not matter if it is for the right reasons or the wrong. It’s what it is. When your man is there and attentive and then distant and not curious, these are his first signals. These are the red flags that you need to watch. When your guy starts springing away then bouncing back, those are signs that he has some things going on. In any event, these are signs that there are things going on in his life which are causing him to be there one minute and then gone the next.
Usually, you will feel disregarded when he does this. Don’t. It’s not personal and it isn’t specifically directed to you. It’s how a man handles things that are happening in his life. Remember, they don’t “talk” about their issues. A person will talk when he has already come up with a way to fix it or when he realizes that he wants your help. Until then, you need to allow him some space.
If you attempt to pry the problem from him or start making assumptions, you are likely to have a result that you won’t be pleased with. A man doesn’t react very well if we make him feel less a man. Though it is not your intentions, that is how he will take it.
If you think that your guy is shifting all of a sudden and behaving close then remote and is shutting down. Give him space. Let him know that you’re confident enough that he can fix whatever is going on. Don’t ask him what is wrong because this will make him feel like you do not have faith that he can make things right.
Don’t offer to help because you will make him feel less a man. If he needs your help, he will come to you. Trust me!
Allow him space. Do not call him, don’t nag him, do not pressure him, don’t make him feel like he’s doing something wrong. Just give him some room to think. Literally, that is what he will do. When he does, and he will, assure him that you understand and that you are there if he needs you and leave it alone. Do not go any further. It is possible to hold a natural dialog but be careful, choose your words. 1 wrong thing and your man will enter hide out and could shut down. Once that happens, he avoids your calls and contact all together.
When a guy has things on his mind, is stressed out or has things happening, he needs space to think. He wants to figure it out by himself. The last thing a guy wants is to have his women attempt to fix it for him or provide her suggestions. If you put too much stress on your guy while he’s stressed out, he is going to feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed and I promise you, he’ll go into hiding.
Don’t let it go that far. Once you notice that he is side tracked and seems to have something going on, let him space. Don’t attempt to get him to your home for dinner or out on the town this Saturday, leave him be. Let him come to you when he’s ready. A man won’t communicate well under stress and pressure.
Simple statements such as, “I really “want” to speak with you, I had a bad day and “want” to share it with you”. Use words which put the responsibility on you rather than him. Don’t attack him with how it’s his fault you’re so stressed out and confused. Just say, “I’m confused and really need to talk to you, can we speak”?
This takes the pressure off him and opens him up for communication. This will make him feel that you simply need to talk and don’t need him to fix something or give you an answer right then, just listen. Though this is not always easy to accomplish as you may feel it trully is his fault, to get what you want, you’ll need to know and accept their differences. If you want to fully get what you want from this relationship then you need to accept this and follow it, otherwise, you’ll find a closed door.
Open the doors to communication with your man and you’ll get what you want out of the relationship. It is not always easy to do but it is simpler to work at when you’re getting something from it. Bear in mind, if you follow this every time the entire time, it is going to benefit in your favor. You’ll have a healthy open connection. You can not have this without communicating. If you don’t follow this, then you will wonder why your man is not talking to you now, tomorrow and next week. You will not get what you want should youn’t accept our differences.
Though these proven techniques work everyday for my customers, it’s up to you to use and apply them. You have the choice to change the patterns that aren’t working for you, so that they do work for you, or continue the old patterns that never get you what you need and leave you emotional and confused. The decision is yours.